Learning to Listen




As I sit here on this cold, snowy day, the power is out {due to the ice on the power lines}, it’s quiet and I’ve really been able to think. There’s been something that has been bothering me for quite sometime now and I've just been sitting back and letting nature run it's course. Well, I strongly think that between now and the New Year, I am going to carefully start evaluating the people whom I share this precious thing called life with. I think the people who I have noticed that either a) take me for granted or use me or b) only talk to me when they need/want something from me will be the first ones to distance myself from. 

As a mother of soon to be four children and a girlfriend to Jordan for 7 years, I need to put them first no matter what. I need to stop allowing these people to take advantage of me right in front of my children. What kind of example am I setting for them if they see this kind of passive behavior from me? And this is exactly why I am making the decision I am today because even though God has taught me a lesson through these moments, I cannot go on with the way things are because I do not have the time for it. I need steady. I need real. And right now, that's not what I have in these certain friendships. I have toxic. I have nothing. 

What happened to people just being simply happy for someone because something wonderful happened to them? Or for them? Unfortunately, one thing I have realized is that today, in this crazy world we live in, it is overflowing with jealousy and admiration and hate. There is no more "happy for you" because kind is a hard thing to find these days. You can't use someone else's life to compare and size up your own life. Everyone's life is different. I, too, used to struggle with this and then I realized their season is their season and my season is my season! Gods timing is always on time and perfect for everyone!! Now, I will say I have met a wonderful group of women online this past year and I am very thrilled to say they are amazing absolutely. It is possibly the best, most giving, thoughtful and just all around an amazing group of women. I had no idea people like them still existed. But I am very lucky to be a part of it. There's not very many genuine people left out there.

I really don't know the point of this post. I guess its just ramble/vent and make myself realize that it's just a piece of life and not everyone makes it to the next chapter and that God uses people to make us realize / understand things and to teach us lessons. And this is definitely a learned one. It might take some time, but I am thankful for this ever changing season of life. It is teaching me more daily. Life shapes us to be the people we are.

This is probably the most random post on my blog, but I couldn't resist. I had to let this out. Thank you for listening/ reading. Much love to each of you. XOXO 

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